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How often do you think about the design of your life?  The structure and form that defines your life is greatly influenced by choices you have made – in the past, in the present, and in the future.  Are you satisfied with your life as it stands?

If the answer is an emphatic “NO!” then you have some work to do.  The first step is to realize that it is Your work, and no one else’s.  It is your hand holding the paint brush and your hand that chooses the colors, texture, lines and form that are painted on the canvas of your life.

Are you with me so far?  You are responsible for you.  Your choices, your mistakes, your grievances, your story.  Stop blaming others for your decisions and start living your life.

There are a myriad of methods to stop the victim mindset.  Check out the 13 steps described in Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping (  Another great book about integrating and healing your past is by Debbie Ford, called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers(  Both websites offer online coursesthat you take at your own pace and fit into your schedule.

Paint brushes

Image via Wikipedia

The tools are out there.  The real question is…do you want to give up your victim mindset and expand into unexplored territory?  Or would you rather stay stuck in an unhappy life so you can complain about it?

Your answer will determine your path and your spiritual development.  Victimhood and spiritual growth cannot occur in the same space, because they are the antithesis of each other.  It truly is your choice.

As Tom Carpenter so eloquently said:

When forgiveness ends the need to judge and conflict and condemnation both have gone away, there is a stillness that fills my mind. This I know is the Peace of God. When I am here, all the world is here with me and I recognize this is the goal we all have sought, no matter how it may have looked. It is the single purpose for our learning, the very function of our lives. For it is here—filled by this stillness—I, we finally feel at home. 

You are the painter of your life – choose wisely!

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